This was our honeymoon castle, all 1
96 square feet of it.
The tower is abandoned now. This picture was taken almost 20 years ago. By now it probably is just a pile of rubble.
But we spent a good summer there.

the dance

I am old hippie.

My kids call my house (I designed it and built it and then rebuilt it) “Dad’s Hippie Hut.” That is a definition that does not bother me.

My hippie credentials are a bit squishy when you remember that I was (and am) monogamous, that I don’t do drugs, or even alcohol. So I don’t fit into categories easily.

When I was in my early independent days I spent 3 summers living in a 14 by 14 house that sat right on top of a mountain. Sometimes we were in the clouds, but more often we were above the clouds. It was exhilarating.

I eat simple. Close to the dirt. Home grown as much as possible. Lots of color. I am a vegetarian. I adore small spaces and small houses. I lived a year in a 300 square a tiny house.My art work is quite minimalist. I drive a 23 year old car that I bought new as a gift for my beloved. As I said, I am simple person.

Sixteen years ago my sweetheart contracted a terminal disease and I lost her last year. I lived alone, but that was not working out well. But finding someone who shared my lifestyle wishes and was fun to be with was and is a challenge.

I used to tell my students in college: If you can hit the ball two times out of ten, and strike out the other 8 you will have a decent career in baseball. If you can hit the ball 3 times out of ten, riches will follow. It works in baseball.

So my new woman and I are at the educate and adjust stage of our dance together. Earlier this week I made Oatmeal for breakfast and the pot boiled over. She told me I was not to cook any more. So the next day I cooked Polenta! I’ll not stop.

And, the dance continues.

Grandma Sharon

This week daughter Lora 2 lost her mother-in-law, and son-in-law Cliff lost his mother.
She was also a Sharon. We had been friends/in-laws for a long time, close to 30 years. She was a pleasant little lady (not quite 5 feet tall).
My Shar met Sharon at Thanksgiving time. She looked healthy, though there was mention of a doctor's appointment. Our visit was short and now Grandma Sharon is gone. The end came much to quick.
She was a good mother and grandmother. Lora's children lost both of their grandmothers in a bit over a year. 
She will be missed by all of us.

I am asked about my work as a photographer. This picture was taken about 1968. It was pretty radical for the time. The young lady was a beauty queen in the town I had my studio. Clothes and hair styes change, but I still think it was a good portrait.

Odds?

Lady Shar and I have been married almost 110 years, just not to each other.
My first marriage went over 57 years and her was over 50. So we begin with a good bit of  experience. One of my friends sent a congratulations note with this line: “If this marriage lasts as long as your last one, you will be an old man.” Most of our past was very good.
We are both pretty set in our ways, pretty hard headed, maybe we even be called a bit stubborn. So, what are the chances of this marriage between two septuagenarians working long term? Of course it is too early to do much beside guess, but from this perspective, it seems that we have a pretty good shot at long term (there is that term again) happiness.
For one thing, though we are both fairly (or more) stubborn, we are also smart enough to know that most battles are just not worth the trouble. And we laugh a lot.
We are both more resilient than I might have thought. We both own houses and while neither is ideal for the two of us, we have both agreed that we could live happily in either, though we are keeping our eyes open for something even more suitable.
I hope that is a predictor of good times ahead.
So, while it is way to early to know for sure, we are off to a decent start.

Ever notice that when there is no water around that thirst is more intense. Well there isn't any acceptable sweet corn around right now, but it sure would taste good. I grew these in a garden a season or three back.

We live in her house.
My house is 25 miles away.
Neither is perfect for us, but either would work for us if we set our mind to it. But for now we have the luxury of thinking and planning.
So I was at my house making bread. I know I could bring the gear over here and make bread in this kitchen, but this house has more construction going on right now, and there is not a real good space for all of the gear I use to make bread.
That includes, but is not limited to: a grain mill for making flour; a big Kitchen Aid mixer, bread pans that are just the size I am used to; the 3 or 4 bins of the flour that I use; plus a bunch of things that I am used to using.
In other words, I am nuts to think I have to go to Caldwell, but I do and did.
So I had the bread made and the cake made (Christmas is Lady S's Birthday) and was ready to load up.
I looked outside and it was raining.
A few minutes later I grabbed a load of stuff and headed for the front door. There was 2 inches of snow on the ground and it was snowing hard. I loaded the car quickly. The bread was cool enough to fit into open ended bags.
The cake was right out of the oven, baked in an ancient 12" skillet. It was really hot. I put it in the top of a wood crate I made once.
The trip home was uneventful, though slow. On the freeway I drove in the fast lane screaming along at 25 to 40 mph.
Just another crazy day on the farm! 

This is us on our wedding day. We were (and are) happy. Note the white shirt!

This is the year of clothes.
I did alright until I decided to get married. No one cared if my blue pants had white knees (I spent my life on my knees) and no one cared if I wore the same shirt a week at a time
Then it all changed!
Granddaughter Emily advised me that I needed a white shirt for my wedding and so for the first time in a couple decades, I own a white dress shirt.
Then Christmas came. Shar and I were alone Christmas Eve. There were three presents for her under the tree and 6 or 9 for me. They were all the same sized (which should have given me a clue).
Which reminds me of a line I heard from a new bride once, “I like him just as he is, maybe just a few minor changes.” “Minor” can have a lot of definitions.
So I opened packages and found pants and shirts and more pants and shirts. One shirt even had a neck tie, the narrowest I ever saw. It looked like a ribbon it was so narrow and to my eye looked incredibly like what I would not want to wear.
There was even a bag full of hats (Shar has a closet of hats). OK there were three. Two are OK and I will wear, the 3rd is going to have to go back to whoever thought it up. I don’t mind hats that have a lot of wear and character, but I want the character to be from use and even abuse and not from some factory on the other side of the planet.
Any way, I am well dressed, with more new clothes than I have bought myself for a long long time.
What did I buy her?
I admit it wasn’t terribly romantic, but I bought her a Ipad Air2; Gold; 64; WiFi. Not sure it was terribly romantic, but she likes it!

This is as close to a 30's depression shot that I have made for a while, and that thought has no connection to the piece I just posted!

THE Question

I did it. 

I asked Lady S to marry me. I pretty well knew her answer before I asked, but it was assuring to her her Yes.

We want to get married before Thanksgiving when my whole family will be together in Portland. Then, for those who cannot make it, we will have a wedding party there for family who did not make it to Idaho.

So we began informing family. 

Daughter 4 had airplane reservations within 15 minutes of hearing of the time.

Brother Ben, who lives in Georgia, is to be here in Early November, so we soldered those together and arrived at a date of November 9.

So far, so good.

And, that is about the time that the groom can take a seat and just massage his checkbook.The girls make most of the rest of the decisions. Shar has 3 daughters and I have 4, that is a lot of women.

All of my daughters will be here (but not the rest of their families). The exception to the families is granddaughter Emily who spent a few days of every week of her first 12 years in our house. 

So, that is how it stands. I got the forms from the church (my church and soon ours) for the date. 

There does not seem to be a conflict.

I came across this recently.
When I was a kid, Crosley was a viable, if not thoroughly eccentric car company. This is the little station wagon. The cars were ultimately small and light weight.
This one is getting a transplant of a Chevy V8. Not sure if it is a good idea, but that is the plan.

I ain't certain

I had breakfast with an old friend a few days ago.
Both of us had lost wives, from the same disease, exactly a year apart.
Life is not so good now. It is not really bad, just not really good.
In fact, we both agreed, that while we will do nothing to hasten the end of our lives, we will do nothing to extend our lives either. There just does not seem to be too much to live for.
What is wrong with us? I don’t know.

For the last dozen or more years, my goal, my job and my everyday experience was to take care of my Miriam. Now she is gone and something bigger than us or her or me has gone too.
It is harder to move on than I had thought.
My widower friend seems to have come to the same conclusions. He cared for his Rose for years until she finally passed away, together in their house. I think his real reason for living has taken a leave as has mine.

What to do? I am not sure.

Where am I goin?
I don’t know
Where am I headin?
I ain’t certain
All I know
Is I am on my way.
from “Paint your wagon.”

Lady S and I

Yesterday Shar and I went to get a door with a big window.

It was on Craig's list. I emailed the seller, he emailed back. I called him to make sure he would be there and to verify his address. We headed out his way, about 10 or 12 miles. About half way my phone went totally dead. (forgot to charge it ). Can't call him, all information is on the phone. Can't remember the address. So I am ready to go back to find a book i wrote it in or get the phone charged.

Shar says No, she has an idea of where the place is. We drive down a road and she says I should have turned right at the last street, so I drove into a gated community (the gate was open) and turned around. Remember that I am clueless of where to go.

So we drive down this street. I look for street names that seem familiar. After a bit of driving I see a street named "Mango." THAT IS IT.

So we drive down Mango Street looking for a house that might house a guy who is selling doors. Nothing looks good, so we circle and do it again.

There are 5 or 6 1st or 2nd graders walking down the sidewalk. Some walk across Mango street. I stop dead, not sure what the last two will do. Their mothers were walking a bit slower and catch up.

"Do you know anyone around here who sells doors?" Shar asks.

"Yes, he is my father-in-law."

So we found the door, bought and it and marveled.

Shar is amazing.

Nice looking door that will go on the pantry I am building her.

Granddaughter Emily modeling one of her mother's paper dresses.

Portland

Today I am in Portland Oregon.

My “undocumented” granddaughter arrived a few days ago and she will go back to Idaho with me for a couple of days before she flies back to New York state.

I used the word “undocumented” it has no reference to her citizenship, but to the fact that we do not have any papers that say she is a granddaughter! Truth is that she is not! We met in a chat room years ago. Her Grandmother and my wife both had Alzheimer’s, hence the common bond. She said then that she needed a grandpa and I figured I had heart room for another granddaughter, so why not.

She was 19 then and I was 70! That was 7 years ago. Since then she graduated from college and has worked at her field of medical photography. She is taking a break before she takes a new job back in her home town of Syracuse.

While in Portland I will see my granddaughter Emily, but not for too long. She is in school with a very busy schedule. And I have a friend I met about 1962 that I will spend some time with Saturday. Meanwhile, Lady S is going to a birthday party today back in Idaho. One of the couple is 99 and both are going strong. Wow. I look forward to meeting them.

Sunday we drive back to Idaho (400 miles) but with a 100 mile side run to see daughter 1. I drove up yesterday alone, but going back I will have company.

I look forward to that!

Lady S

My life is changing.

I will never forget my Miriam, but endless grieving won’t bring her back. With that in mind I joined a dating service, this spring.

It seemed to me that any woman who would talk to me on line deserved lunch or coffee. I had lunch with 5 or 6 women. While all were interesting but sparks were few.

Then I had lunch with a lady who had lost her husband about a year before. We sat and talked just a few minutes and it seemed like we had been friends for ages. We had lunch again. The waitress advised “Don’t you love birds go up to the back row of the theater and smooch through the whole movie.” We were planning on seeing Monument Men.

I told her that this was only the 2nd time I had ever seen this lady. She was amazed. And so it has been.

We are still dating. We still laugh a great deal when we are together.

I have met most of her family, including her 94 year old mother, and have been accepted by them. Her family mostly live locally, but mine is all over the west.

So where are we now? Our friendship deepens. We will see how it goes.

Not yet.
But I can dream.
This week (and last) has been wet and cold.
The Tulips are in full leaf, but no flowers.
I don't bloom right now either.

Wrong house

Today I was scraping mortar from the floor the door bell rang.

When I answered it there was a round faced young man.

“Any carnivores around here?” he asked, with a bit of a humor.

“No,” I said, I am a Vegetarian.

He continued with his sales pitch. Contest. Low prices. Sea foods.

I interrupted: “I really am a vegetarian.” He looked at me like I had just admitted to being a mass murderer.

Then when the usual quiz about it all.

I am not sure buying something as expensive as meat from a pickup vendor is a good idea, but this one time he gave his pitch to the wrong person!

Looking the away from the kitchen.
See the water line on the wall?

This is the Kitchen right after the "water incident."

There was 30" of water, about belt deep on the guy on the left. 

It is easy to see the ceiling color. The accent color is over the stove cabinets to the right. The only wall color shown is over the sink, behind the light.
This also shows what the cabinets should look like and how much I have to do yet.
The new tile floor will be much darker than this tile.

painting done

This week I finished painting the great room.

It is a good sized room with a cathedral ceiling. The walls are not big, but I had to put on a texture over the sheetrock and paint them all.

For colors I choose Interface Tan for the ceiling; Sumptuous Peach for three walls and Quiet Corral for the 4th, which is mostly covered by a loft and kitchen cabinets. What is amazing is that I choose all of the colors by myself, without help from my family.

The few who have seen it say it came out good.

I told the guys at the paint store that when this was done I might not see them again. A good paint job lasts close to 20 years, and I am not sure I will!

Painting can be messy, and I am good at that part.

Fortunately all of the floors come out, so I did not have to be too careful.

pollen

I woke up this morning with sniffles and snorts.

Looked at my iPad and discovered that today is a very high pollen day! So I dug through stuff and found pills. Haven’t taken any since last spring, which is good.

Rain, pollen and a skipped happy pill and make it a rather dreary day.

Glad we don’t get a lot of those combination days.

Yesterday I spent some time with a lady friend. We always have a good time together, and this time was no exception. I don’t think I allergic to her! That would not be a good!

Once I had a friend who told me he wanted to own a red car before he died.
But he died and never had his red car.
There is a moral there somewhere!

South Fork

This week I went to visit a friend up on the South Fork of the Payette.

He worked for one of those relief agencies that we occasionally hear about. For years they would send him to every erupting hell hole in the world. He was one of the first on the ground. He was big and strong, a picture of strength.

But that kind of thing takes a silent toll. It destroyed my friend. He is like a soldier who came back from too many horrific battles. He saw too much, he heard too much. It was really tough on his brain.

He is still tall and strong and smiles wonderfully.

Our friendship goes back over 40 years. His wife says I am one of the few he will talk to, so I  was glad to see him again. He introduced me to some of his friends, who are real characters. That was good too. 

We had a good time together, as we always do.

My sweetheart.

Memorial

We had Miriam’s memorial service last weekend.
I began with an introduction. I talked a bit about some of her art work. (The stained glass window at the front of the church was made by Miriam as well as the sign out front).
My best friend sang a couple of favorite hymns.
Granddaughters talked about their memories of Grandma, most of which were after her Alzheimer’s kicked in.
Then daughters told their mother’s life story. All were up front at the same time, each with a live mic. I knew they would add to each others story, so I facilitated it with mics and it went just as I had hoped. Most interesting.
My favorite pastor (not the current one) spoke a wonderful personal homily.
Then we invited friends in the audience to voice their remembrances.
And last my brother sang the closing song with our sister playing the organ.
The whole thing took an hour and a half (I was told). There was a very nice group who came out, 200 to 250 I guessed. The church traditionally furnishes a meal for the family, but we told them we wanted to invite everyone.
We had friends and family from far away and we wanted to spend more time with them. The hall where the meal was to be served seats 75. So we invited 250 and exactly 75 showed up.  It was wonderful.

Bricks on the beach.
I can't help but wonder where they came from and how they were moved so far.
There is a story behind everything.

dating

I recently started dating.

Haven't done that since the Eisenhower years. In fact, I've only had one girl friend in my entire life, so this is a big deal.

I joined an online dating site and have had coffee or lunch with 4 different women. It is interesting. If someone will talk (every one won't), there is so much interest within each person's experience.

Today I had coffee/tea and a piece of cake with one of the brightest women I have known. She didn't need to tell me she was bright, I could tell she just was. It was good. We will see each other again.

Another lady and I sounded like we had been friends for decades after we had been together for just a few minutes. That was a joy.

It has not been too long since my wife died, but I have been single a very long time. This dating thing is both scary and exhilarating. I tell them all up front, that I am not ready for romance, but I would love to be their friend. Don't know what "all" women would do, but these were relieved.

I miss Miriam so much, and no one will ever take her place, but it is time to move around a bit and meet some new people.

Granddaughter Emily (who is almost 20 now) looking for pill bugs in our back yard. My wife Miriam kept the place looking so nice.
I have a serious challenge.

trees

Yesterday the tree trimmer guys were here.

I have a big Chinese Elm at the corner of my front yard and a smaller mongrel cherry tree at the other corner. The Elm is trimmed up nicely and the cherry tree is no more. Tomorrow he is to come and grind up the stump. 

There is a bunch of cleanup to do though. He would have done more, but I would have needed to pay him more and it is OK any way.

There are several big spreading bushes (Tams I think they were called) that obscure the front of the house. They come out too, but that is my task! I'll cut and dig and slash and burn (except I can't really burn) to get them out.

The new landscape plan calls for a decorative fence with grapes growing on the fence. I had enough grapes to make 100 quarts of fabulous grape juice each year, and I want to get back to that point. The  front yard will be a garden more than a yard, but I'll try to keep under the radar for nosy city inspectors. (Neighbors don't mind).

The design I have in mind includes a lot of eatables, berries, fruit, vegetables and as little actual lawn as possible, and it is possible to have none at all. The lot is small and I want it to be productive without me spending all of my time working on it.

Laziness, I maintain, is the first step to progress, but careful quoting me on that one!

Saw this sign at a tourist stop.
Should have done the trick!

new neighbors

The house across the street  has a long succession of owners and renters.

No one did more than cursory upgrade and it got worse and worse. Last year a contractor family bought the house and did a pretty decent remodel.

This week the new renters moved in.

There is a twenty something guy and his girl friend, the guy's x-wife and her boyfriend plus a few kids of assorted sizes.

Wow. That is a lot more complex than I would wish to deal with,

But I am a chicken, I guess.

49 Merc

When I was a teen, this was the car that all the cool kids had.
49 Mercury couple, seriously chopped and lowered. They had not really figured a way to lower the front, so it was not the "slammed look" we see now, but that back end was low.
The interior was one or two colors of Naugahyde, which is better to look at than to sit on.
And the twin spotlights was necessary too.
And, I swiped the photograph. 

Grandson Matt, who is now 16, in his dad's hat back when he was cute and we could say so. He is quite handsome at this point, but not cute!

My parents and I, a long time ago. My father was killed in a logging accident when he was 28, about 4 years after this picture was taken.

quiet

Living alone is a bit of a pain at times.

There isn't an extra hand, even a shorter one. No one tells me that is the wrong shirt, or shoes, or that my hair needs attention. When my the food is not wonderful, I eat it any way.

The house is quiet, unless I turn on a radio. I have the TV on a fair amount, but hardly ever with the sound on. Silent company it is! In my cabinet shop I had a TV that was on all the time. I rarely changed channels and never raised the volume, but when I looked up there was almost always somebody there in the shop with me.

Still, when tempted to make an effort to change the aloneness, I remember a bit from the Big Book. I badly paraphrase: “It is better to live alone in a cave alone and with a modicum of peace, than in a mansion with a cantankerous mate.”

Since I have no experience with living with an even mildly cantankerous mate, I need to be especially careful, I guess.

Lately I have had a few encounters with widows, tea/lunch type encounter. None were evil in any way, but none lit any candles. I have developed a friendship with a recent widow. When I told her I was not ready for a serious romance at this time, but that I sure could use a friend or two, she relaxed visibly!

It is monday morning and I have work to do!

When we married I had one of these. Huge lumbering daughter of a steam ship. Comfortable, but hard on gasoline.
And I admit that I stole the photograph.

Miriam took good care of her car.
I am not a mechanic so when something was needing repair, I took it to a good mechanic (most of the time to the same shop) to do the repair.

Another old one!

I bought this car for Miriam’s birthday 22 years ago (then spent 5 years paying for the gift!). It is a decent ride and I like it and I intend to drive it on and on.

We have kept it well maintained, and it is paid for. A thousand dollar repair is about 3 months payment on a new or newer rig. I can replace the engine and be ahead! Lately I have been on a roll with a few upgrades. Even old guys like a good sounding sound system, I have one. I had the front seats re-upholstered. I bought new carpet. Sound insulation is coming. It will be a decent ride. 

I have a newer full sized pickup that I used when I was a contractor, but it gets 15 mpg average (about half of the Cavalier) and will be sold after I get my house remodel lined out.

Someone suggested that one way to drive a classic car is to buy it new and keep on driving it! I’ll do that!

The new lady!

Singer Slant-O-Matic

Last week I bought a sewing machine.

It is an old Singer, like 1960 Singer. Miriam bought one back just like it when they were new. Along the way it was gifted, so rather than ask for the original back, I bought one.

It is one of the solid old ladies, a 401a. No plastic gears, just go and go, and it is heavy! And this one is pristine. If it was used it was used very little. That is good. When I saw that, I didn’t even question the price, I just pulled out the cash!

When I was 11 or 12 I sewed quite a bit, on Mom's old strait stitch Singer. Don't intend to sew clothes, but totes and curtains and such, things to make my life a bit more organized and warmer! But mostly I want to make insulated Roman Shades for all of my outside windows!

And, today I ordered a yard of “Warm Windows”, a multiply ply blind material that is pretty close to state of the art at this point. I can promise you that this first one will not be fabulous, but it is in my bedroom!

And, if necessary, I can keep the door locked when I have visitors! (Or I could do it over).

Either way, pictures will follow!

 

This is my little teardrop, I made in 2007.  This spring I am doing a fairly exensive remodel to the outside of the little lady. She has been a joy!

Take 2 or whatever

My name is Dave. I live in SW Idaho in an area that was desert before dams were built and canals dug to bring irrigation. I was born in this town, and while once it was home to parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, they are all gone now. Only my sister remains.

Though I was born here I have moved around the NW, though I did put in 5 years in North Texas. Recently I lost the love of my life (we have been together since we were 15) and so I am starting again. My life with Miriam was a wonderful adventure, but now it is time for a new adventure.

I am healthy enough and I have the tools and the knowledge to return to life as a small time building contractor but I’d rather learn to live with what I have and spend my time on other things. After losing Miriam my income is greatly reduced, but I can make it work and have a great adventure along the way.

This is about my adventure. I think I have an idea of how it is going to go, but the fun part is the unexpected.

We have 4 beautiful and strong daughters, 4 granddaughters and 7 grandsons (plus another granddaughter who lives clear across the country that I have adopted as my other granddaughter. She set up this blog and the one before it. Bless her!).

I am blessed beyond measure, and i am smart enough to know it!

All of the photographs are mine, unless I say otherwise.

I’ll post a few times a week, but no politics and no religion -  promise!